Rising to the Potential Within Us

                Although times have changed and ideas are evolving, in the past there has been a sense of familial structure that was acceptable to society. The father was generally seen as the one that led the family, making the decisions, and ensuring order and success.  The mother was the caregiver of the children, the nurturer, and the one who maintained the daily running of the household.  It became a bit fuzzier with the children because there hasn’t been a set structure for children aside from the fact that they were to be obedient to their parents and help pull their weight within the household.  However, what weight they were expected to pull was usually left to interpretation within each familial structure.  There have been times, way more often than we would hope and more than anyone wants to admit, when the accepted cultural structure of a family has not conformed or has become disrupted for whatever reason.  We saw three very good examples of this disruption in our readings this semester.  I would like to break down the components of the family and focus on each individual and how they were represented in each reading.

FATHERS

                The fathers showed up in some very different ways.  The Commandant in “The Marquise of O-” written by Heinrich Von Kleist, appears to be a very strict father with high expectations for his family, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, nor is it a surprise when you consider the position he held in society.  He had a reputation to uphold when it came to his family and their place in higher society.  When the socially acceptable order of his household was disrupted by a pregnancy out of wedlock by his daughter he becomes furious.  Knowing how this will affect the whole family, he banishes his daughter and disowns her because he does not believe in her claimed innocence.  As he is trying to protect the reputation of his family and maintain the structure that has been established, he is very strong and stands erect trying to maintain what he has fought so hard to build within his family and in community.  He will not sit by and let an act by his daughter ruin their standing in society. 

                In contrast to this familial structure where the father takes such a leading role we have the father in “The Metamorphosis” by Franz Kafka.  In this family, the father starts out as someone who does not take his role as father at all.  He does not work, and in fact, it seems that he rarely even stands erect.  He sits around eating and reading the newspapers all day in his robe and requires his son to take his role as patriarch and support the family.   He provides no support to the family financially or in any other way.  However, after his son’s metamorphism, making him unable to provide, the father picks up his role and begins to work and assume the natural structure of the family as a provider.  He begins to stand up for his family and in fact, at one point Gregor, the son, realizes that roles have changed when he sees his father in his uniform he wears for work and has to look up, tilting his head back, in order to look at his father.  He describes his confusion at seeing this man who used to always be either sitting or lying down and “being quite incapable of standing up” but now “stood quite steady” while in turn, he, Gregor, is now the one creeping around close to the floor, unable to stand erect.

                Mark Jarman's story of “Iris” lacks the typical familial structure.  Although there are men who play the role of husband and father, they come and go and there is not a stable figure.   There is one reference that I believe created a great deal of influence on Iris, and that was the man that she was married to for 4 years who beat her.  I also believe that Iris’s childhood was filled with different husbands and boyfriends of her mother’s, and this would have played a large role in her feeling that life had always been “attained through horizontal movement.  Flight was escape, and rescue and escape were Iris’s religion.”, even though the men weren’t around long.  Without the stability of a father figure or male role, I can imagine the feeling of insecurity and lack of safety that Iris might have felt her whole life, always running to get away from them.  I also feel like that might be why she became so entrenched in Robinson Jeffers and living vicariously through his poetry.  He became a male figure she could relate to and go to when she needed guidance.  Everyone needs to feel safety and security and without a male figure in her life, she sought it out in her readings and felt that connection with Jeffers.

MOTHERS 

                The mothers of these stories also had unique roles.  In “The Marquise of O-” the mother is one who seems to stand up to her daughter and can be very aggressive and demanding of her, however, she is down on her knees a lot when she is around her husband and begging for the sake of the daughter.  She is very nurturing and wants to do what she can to allow her daughter to return back into the family structure after she has been banished, however, she is also conniving in trying to trick the daughter into admitting her secret.  I see the mother as bouncing back and forth between her allegiance to her daughter and to her husband.

                In “The Metamorphosis” the mother seems to be slightly nurturing when Gregor is thought to be sick in the beginning but once she discovers he has changed she loses the ability to look at him, see him, or interact with him.  Her concern seems to be more about the structure and order of the family and what will happen now that he is no longer providing.  However, similar to the father, the mother rises to the occasion and takes her place in the family structure when it is required.  They let the maid go and the mother assumes the responsibility of cooking and also begins sewing to help bring in financial support as well. 

                In “Iris” the role of mother is the most important role both with Iris’s mother and also with Iris as a mother.  Iris follows the example of her mother and just allows herself to latch on to whatever man is willing to help provide despite the dysfunctional relationship or dynamics of the family structure.  She is proud of the fact that her relationships at least lasted longer than her mother’s did.   As a mother Iris is very protective of her daughter and tries to provide for her.  I like the line “She had herself lifted her daughter up away from death, but as a mother cat mouths a kitten in its fangs and picks it off the floor.”  She knew that she had helped her daughter to rise above the difficulties of their life and had protected her enough to give her a better life.  I don’t believe there is a better depiction of a mother than one who can help her children rise above life’s trials. 

CHILDREN

                The role of children in these stories is interesting.  While Gregor is required to assume the role of the provider for his family in “The Metamorphosis” he is never really appreciated for what he does, and in fact, seems to be even looked at as holding the family back in some ways.  I was frustrated at the end of the story when it is discussed that now they can find a place to live that is not only cheaper in rent, since they can downsize now that Gregor is dead, but also has a better location and is more practical than their current living conditions, which Gregor had selected.  This implied, to me, that Gregor’s family viewed him as a hindrance that had not allowed them to be happy.  Yet, Gregor was the one that provided food on the table, shelter, and some sense of family order.  There were so many poignant moments in this story for Gregor.  Initially, when he goes through the transition of metamorphosis, it is so difficult for him to get up.  He struggles so much to get out of bed and it takes him a long time.  To me this was representative of his struggle to find a place and position in his family.  He had to work hard to become a traveling salesman and also to pay off his father’s debt and provide for his family.  He also had to work to establish a position within his own family which still seemed to be a struggle for him.    I felt the symbolism when he finally took the proper posture for a vermin and “flopped down upon his many tiny legs.  The instant this happened, he felt a physical ease and comfort for the first time that morning.”  I saw this as relief that he no longer had to stand and represent his family.  He was free of his responsibilities and it felt good and comfortable, which it should since he was not the father and should not have had the responsibility in the first place.  It felt comfortable because he was being allowed to assume the role of a son rather than the father and provider (despite the fact that he was now not even the son, but a pest instead).   It was sad that after all Gregor had done for his family the only time they noticed his sacrifice was when he had died and was no longer standing, even on his little legs.  Once he had been drawn completely down to the floor with no ability to stand in any form, then they noticed him and what he had gone through.

                The thing that struck me most with the Marquise in “The Marquise of O-” was how her stances changed depending on what role she was playing.  It seemed that as a daughter or sister she was always on her knees, or some other low position but whenever it came time for her to represent her own family, herself and her children, she would rise up, stand up for them, and let her stature show her position and role as a mother and widow.  For instance, when the father banished her from his house, “she had just thrown herself at his feet and tremblingly clasped his knees.” And then rose up to run from the room when the pistol went off.  However, just moments later as she is gathering her children and getting them ready to leave her brother appears and tells her that her father has demanded that the children stay with him in his home.  She comes to her feet and uses her erect stature to stand up for herself and her children and refuses to leave them there but instead insists that they will be with her, that her father cannot take them from her.  There is also the newspaper advert that the Marquise places in order to ascertain who the father of her child is.  She is willing to lose her social standing and be looked down on in order to protect her child and provide the proper family structure for that child when he/she is born.  This is a moment when I view her as standing erect and strong in defense of the unborn within her.

                I found the fact that once Gregors family had given up on him, he gave up as well and died shortly after. However, in contrast, when the Marquise’s family believed her innocence and came to her side, she was strong enough to establish a life for herself and stand up for herself and her children.  Likewise, with Iris, the fact that she believed in her daughter and tried to provide structure and stability for her enabled her as well.  I liked the idea that Ruth, her daughter, gets married in a hot air balloon, giving perfect meaning to the metaphor of rising above…she is rising above it all to build her own familial structure, thanks to the support of her own mother.  To me, all three of these stories emphasize the role that members of a family play, not only to the structure of a family as a whole, but also in the ability of individuals within that structure to be able to stand on their own within the family and  society.